When You Have Nothing To Live For, Why Live At All
by delilah69
Summary: What happens if the Cullen's couldn't stop Victoria and a beloved member of the family is lost? My first Fanfiction, please be kind.. Rated M just in case.
1. Lost!

I don't own thing that involves Twilight, but I do LOVE it!! Stephanie Meyer is one lucky woman! Read and Review!!! PLEASE!!!

Suddenly Alice's glazed over in a way I knew all too well. "Alice! What is it?! What do you see?!" She screamed, "Bella!! NO, EDWARD STOP!" I turned to the others, "Carlisle, we need to go!" Carlisle turned to the wolves and told them to run, that we would take care of Bella, the Volturi didn't honor treaties with wolves.

Alice was the only one who knew where to go, so we followed her lead. As we bolted through the forest I could smell something too familiar. Burning vampire. Edward had to be safe! I only hoped Bella was too! As we came to the edge of the tree line I could see Bella standing on the other side of a pyre. All I could feel from her was shock. It was so strong that it brought me to my knees. I didn't realize I was projecting the shock to the others till I heard Esme cry out.

"NO! It can't be!" I turned to look where her eyes were focused. I saw an arm that was charred at the shoulder, and realized on the wrist, was Edward's cuff with the Cullens' crest on it. I turned to Alice, the look on her face told me we were too late! Everyone was stilled frozen in shock.

Rose held on to Emmet, who was sobbing uncontrollably. Carisle had his arms around Esme. There was nothing we could do....

"We were too late! Stupid wolves! I didn't see it!" I turned to hold Alice and she suddenly went ridged. She was in a vision. "The Volturi will be here in 2 minutes and 15 seconds we need to protect Bella!" I stood and turned to where Bella was kneeling. The shock was gone, all that was left was determination, sorrow, and a small spark of happiness.

I understood the sorrow, but the other two feelings confused me. She looked at me and smiled. "The Volturi are coming for us, Bella. You need to come stand by us!" I took one step towards her to get around the flames.

"STOP!" I turned to Alice, her face contorted in horror. We looked to her, and she whispered, "Don't take another step, she'll jump..." Jump?! What was she talking about?! I turned back to Bella, she was much closer to the fire now, too close that even if i wanted to my vampire speed couldn't catch her.

"Bella, please come over to us. We can keep you safe!" Alice held me in place, But Bella was so close to the fire now, I could see her skin getting redder from the heat. "45 seconds! Please Bella don't do this!" If she could cry Alice would be drowning in her own tears.


	2. Chapter 2 Fire

I don't own anything, only SM. On with the show!

Chapter 2

FIRE

Bella laughed, "I can't even keep myself safe! Or any of you! But now I can!" And with that she threw herself into the fire. I had to try to save her! Edward wouldn't want her to die like this?! Alice's eyes glazed over once again and she loosened her grip on my arm. I sprang to the fire, looking for a good spot to grab. I had to! She was, IS my sister!

The flames were so hot! I could hear the others calling for me to stop, but I didn't care! I need to save Bella! My hands were burning and the flames were licking at my clothes,they couldn't keep me from burning for long. I grabbed Bella as gently as I could and lifted her out of the fire. I didn't know how bad the burns were and I didn't care! I needed to know that she was okay. I placed her into the snow and patted out the flames.

I bent down to listen for a heart beat, it was faint, but still it was there! I didn't even realize the extra sets of eyes on me as I worked to save this little human girl. "CARLISLE! HELP ME! HELP HER! PLEASE!" He crawled over to me and looked at the broken charred body in my hands. "There's nothing I can do.... I'm... sorry Jasper..." I just clutched her closer to me and sobbed till I heard a small throat clear.

I looked up and there was Jane. She just waved them off. The shock was rolling off of them, and they seemed frozen in place. They didn't believe what they had just seen, a vampire jumped into a fire pit to save a human?! "There is one way to save her." She looked at me as if to say, 'You already know the answer.' I looked to Jane, as far as I knew she didn't care about anyone, or anything. Why was she trying to help me? I looked at her and her face softened. I looked back down at Bella's broken body, turned her head and bit down on her neck. "Carlisle help me I don't know if I can do anymore." I looked at my family and they gathered around me, each taking a limb, I sighed and said, "For Edward.."

Two days later .........

It had been two days since we lost Edward and Bella started burning. We each bit her in strategic places, except Rose. She never tasted human blood and never wanted to. Especially from the human that killed her brother. Emmet saw it a different way, but being Emmet he saw everything a different way. Needless to say Emmet was sleeping in one of the guest rooms.

It was so hard to be in the house with so many emotions swirling around. Sorrow, hatred, hope, and of course Bella's pain from the burning. She was the strangest, I knew she was in pain from the burning, but she never screamed, not once. she was very content, peaceful almost. I was terrified about when she woke up, would she be happy that she got the life she wanted? Or furious that she got it, but without Edward? Only 1 more day to wait.

Much to the surprise of us all Jane stayed with Bella cradling her and whispering assurances to her. She would be loved that was certain.

After we got Bella home Jane said she and Alice would change Bella's clothes, and Carlisle would check my hands. I didn't realize they even hurt that bad, till I let go of Bella. Alice had been looking into her future and was terrified to find it was gone. She couldn't even see 10 minutes into Bella's future. She could still see the rest of us, just not Bella.


	3. Chapter 3 Jane's Story

I don't own anything but my own thoughts! Stephanie is the woman! Just so you know this will all be in Jaspers POV. Soon you'll understand why. Tell your friends to read too!

Chapter 3

Jane's Story

My hands were pretty bad. Carlisle didn't even know if they would heal at all. The bone was visible in some places and just charred skin in other spots. It didn't hurt anymore, but it looked really bad. Carlisle wrapped up my hands and placed gloves over them to help heal. I heard light footsteps and looked to the stairs, it was Jane.

"That was very brave Jasper. I haven't seen that kind of bravery since Aro saved my brother and I. Do you want to hear my story?" I just looked at her unable to find my voice and I nodded.

"It was a very long time ago, my brother and I have very few human memories left. The only strong ones I have left are of my last human day. Our parents were acting very strange. I knew they hid us from the outside world, but I never understood why. On many occasions people would stop by and ask to see us, our parents just told them that they could not because we were sickly. I guess our parents didn't want to chance us getting out and hurting anyone, or exposing them. To keep us looking weak and sickly, we were hardly ever fed, in the hopes we would die."

"On occasion our mother would let Alec and I out, only after dark and only in the woods behind our home. We would play and have fun. Till the sun would start to show, then it was back to the cellar for us. Sometimes I would act brave and beg to go out and play in the sun. But they always said no. One fall day Mother finally said yes. We were so excited we could finally bask in the sun. I should've known that something was wrong. As the house shrunk in the distance, I could feel eyes following us through the woods. Alec and I were so weak, there was no way we could use our gifts to defend ourselves."

"I asked Alec what we should do. He just took my hand and we ran. We didn't get very far, there were too many of them. They grabbed Alec and I and took us to the town square. They tied us to twin poles. They kept screaming horrible things at us. I didn't understand, we didn't do anything wrong! I called out to our mother when I saw her face in the crowd, she just took our father's hand and they walked away. They never even looked back. I knew they all called us the witch twins and now they were going to prove that we were and burn us. We didn't know that Aro had been watching us, waiting for the right time to turn us. The people started the fire before Aro could get us out. He murdered half of the village before he got Alec. I just remember the flames, they were so hot. Then I heard Alec cry out, I told him to run!"

As she told her story we were all still baffled by why she would care, we could hear Bella's heart beating loudly and getting faster. I hung my head and thought, '_I'm so sorry Bella. I wish I could do more to help you!_' I looked back to Jane. Her eyes held the look of memory shadowed by pain.

"When I woke to my new life, I didn't understand. I was dead, but I wasn't dead. Aro had to keep me under constant watch, I burned longer, because of my injuries. The whole time I was burning I just keep hearing this voice tell me what I was becoming, how special I was. When I finally stopped burning and opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Aro. He smiled, kissed my forehead and told me to wait in my room, and I would get to see Alec."

"A few minutes passed, or a few hours, it was amazing to me everything I could hear and see. The smells were amazing! My throat was still burning, but everything was so beautiful. Suddenly my door flew open, and a huge man stood in my doorway, I was terrified! What did he want? He lunged at me and the next thing I knew, he was on the ground writhing in pain! I heard a chuckle and I looked up to see three figures standing in the doorway behind the fallen man. Aro and Caius had smiles on their faces, while Marcus wore his usual frown. It felt good to be special."

"Alec was brought to me eventually and I grew to learn to use my power for evil. I still don't mind using it that way, but, I was afraid too. Why could I burn people? Why didn't Alec's power work the same way? When I asked Aro he kissed me on the head and simply said it was because I was special. Later, Eleazar told me it was because I tasted the fires burn before I was changed, and Alec hadn't. I'm afraid for you Cullens'...."

Jane's face once again became a cold, calculating mask. Her eyes were devoid of any feeling. "She's tasted the fire and before long it will consume her. Her Edward is gone, she has no balance or guide. Without someone to love her absolutely and unconditionally, she will go mad. And destroy everything in her path." She stated simply. Jane looked each of us in the eyes, crimson on amber. Esme gasped at the ice in her gaze. "I must return to Aro, he will know all that has happened here. I will try to keep him away from Bella. Love her...."

And with that she was gone.....


	4. Chapter 4 Awake

_**Nothing I write is mine, it's all Stephanie Meyer's. I just have a vivid imagination. Thanks for waiting and reading! Tell your friends! **_

_**Small A/N: i'm sorry it's taken so long to update, life ya know..... and my reg. comp died and I lost a lot. but i have a laptop now and I hope to update way more often!**_

_**HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE LADIES OUT THERE!**_

**Awake**

"Great, a newborn and she'll be crazy to boot!"

"Rose! Don't say things like that!" Esme repremanded. Rose just scoffed and turned to look at her nails, as if she didn't know they were perfect already. Alice was tucked into my side, her face scrunched up in pain, trying to see our future again. I wished I could do more to help her.

"Carlisle, why don't we turn on some of Edward's music? To help us remember him...." Esme sobbed quietly again. Her pain was paralysing. Carlisle just nodded and walked at a humans speed to turn on our cd player. We all closed our eyes and rested in the quiet.

The sudden creak of the bed and sound of moving feet upsatirs caused every head to turn upwards. "How can she be up and moving like that already?" Emmet gasped, looking to me. I could only shrug. The lilting strains of Edwards piano filled the house, but could not cover the frantic thump of Bella's heartbeat. Sunlight momentarily broke through the clouds, lighting our still forms like stone statues awaitng the fall of night.

We kept still as Bella started down the stairs, humming the tune of Edward's lament. Esme started toward her, but was stopped by Carlisle hand on her shoulder. She turned to him with a pleading look that changed to troubled as she saw the apprehension in his face.

Bella came down the last stair and turned to the back door as the sun burst free from the clouds once more. I couldn't contain an astonished gasp. She was the epitome of beautiful. Her skin sparkled like a sheet of the finest diamond, rainbows danced around the room. I looked at Alice and saw her smiling. "I knew she would be magnificent!" I just nodded. Never bet against Alice.

Bella bowed to her reflection in the window. "I would love to dance Edward," her tone was that of a person who was either on a great deal of drugs, or in massive shock. She positioned her limbs as if dancing with someone. The smile quickly wilted from my face. I knew she would be devestated, maybe not quite right again.

I could hear Bella's heartbeats grow faster. The change was coming to a close, to the final thump. Her heart seemed to be in time with the music. As the final note peeled from the speakers, she slowly crumpled to the floor, her heart beating for the last time, forever.

My feet started forward, pulling Alice behind me. It was all I could do to keep her excitment from quickening my steps. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Emmet and Carlisle were following my example with their mates. I held my hand out to forestall them. There was no telling what Bella would do. What would she remember? What if what Jane said came true?

I reached out with my senses to see what she felt. Nothing, a black pit. I couldn't feel anything coming from her. It were as if she wasn't even there. Carlisle silently glanced at me with a quirked eyebrow, and I shook my head. He frowned in confusion. I really wish Edward were still here.

As the most experienced with newborns, I took a slow step closer to her. As my first step came down, Bella opened her eyes and looked to us. Suddenly, without any warning and bare stirring of air, she was gone. I couldn't even pretend to breathe. She was faster than Edward on his best day. That could be a problem.

I pulled Alice closer to me, and I heard a hiss from above. Bella had latched her hands into the ceiling and was hanging above us. I smiled a small comforting smile, and raised my hands, open palm, to show her I meant no harm. She titled her head curiously. Alice smiled and leaned out from behind me, "Bella, it's ok. Just come down. You know we would never hurt you." Alice took a step forward with hand outstreched. I frowned and sent out a wave of uncertainty. There was still too many unknowns for me to risk Alice's life on her affection for Bella.

I reached out to pull Alice back, but she waved me off. I took a step to the side. One limb at a time, Bella released her hold on the ceiling, til she was held by one hand. She all but floated to the floor when she finally released. I guess the old clumsy Bella is gone. She took a slow step toward Alice. As soon as she took Alice's hand, I stiffened in shocked realization. Alice's feelings disappeared. "A shield....." I muttered.

Bella apparently took my words as a threat and pulled Alice behind her, looking at me with slitted eyes. She crouched into a defensive position as I took a step back, lowering my eyes from hers to look less threatening. "It's ok Bella. It's just Jasper. Do you remember Jasper? Do you remember me?" Alice stroked Bella's arm. After a few moments of eternity, she slowly she straightened out of her crouch.

Her eyes went out of focus and looked beyond now as she looked at Alice over her shoulder. Then, for the first time since she woke, they focused back on reality and narrowed in thought, forehead scrunching in confusion. "I don't know....." She gasped, her hand flew to her mouth in horror. Alice jumped in quickly, "It's ok Bells, somethings will be different, It's ok, don't be afraid. I'll help you." She smiled at Bella.

"I'm not afraid. I'm confused?" It came out as a question.

Alice looked to me, "Are you projecting Jazz?" I shook my head, "I can't feel her, or you now." I mumured. Carlisle grunted, "Nothing?" I just shook my head.

Esme looked at me with lost, helpless eyes. "I can feel everyone but Bella and Alice. I think she 's a shield. That's why Edward could never......" As I said Edward's name, Bella gasped like she had just been punched in the gut. She looked like I shocked her with a cattle prod. "Edward...." Her words came out as a whisper, I almost couldn't hear her. Her body went limp as she started to fall to the floor again. Alice caught her just before she hit, and I was slammed by Alice's fear and a bit of her irrepressable excitement.

Alice looked to Carlisle, "I think she fainted!" Rosealie scoffed and rolled her eyes contemptuously, "See, I told you she would be a freak."


	5. Chapter 5 The Burn

I don't own Twilight as much as I wish I did, I don't. Mrs. Meyer is the luckiest chick on the planet! i do hope you read, review and ENJOY!

thank you! mim a/n at the end.

_**THE BURN**_

Alice laid Bella out on the living room couch. I watched as she stroked Bella's hair and whispered comforting things. Esme had sent Rose to her room to spend some quiet time reflecting on her disrespectful attitude, that Bella is a part of the family and we all needed to support her.

"Alice, can you see anything at all?" I could feel Alice as soon as Bella fainted, but Bella herself was still a black hole. Alice took a deep uneeded breath and closed her eyes face scrunched up in consentration. She sat absolutely still, then she let out the breath and looked up at me with a sad smile. "She's still so fuzzy Jazz. I can see the new table Esme wants in the house in Alaska and I can see what Emmet's going to get for Rose to help her calm down, but Bella is still out of focus. Like she's there, but she isn't. I don't know what to make of it!"

I placed my hand on Alice's shoulder and sent her a wave of love and calm. "It'll be ok Darlin'."

Alice didn't look too convinced. "But, you heard Jane, she could be lost! What will we do to help her? I hate being blind!"

"We just love her Ali."

I could feel the lightbulb in her mind light up, "Maybe phyisical contact would help you feel her Jazz? What could it hurt?" I wasn't sure, but I did know nothing good ever happened when anyone said things like that. I knelt down next to Alice in front of Bella. It was odd being so close to her. I don't think that i've ever been this close in all this time; it was nice not wanting to kill her. I put my hand slowly on top of her hand and tried to feel anything from her.

Suddenly, I got a shot of surprise. I grinned, "I surprised her!" Alice's eyes lit up. Esme grabbed Carlisle's hand and they exchanged happy looks. I heard Emmet rush from his fight with Rose and come tumbling down the stairs, grinning like a fool. Then I pushed out a wave of calm and love to her. Perhaps she could feel me? Just as I projected the feelings out to her, Alice squealed and closed up her feelings again.

"I'm so sorry Jazz! I didn't mean to frighten her! Bella, can you hear me? It's Alice, we miss you so much and we want you to come back to us! Can you hear me?" There was a feather light touch on my arm. I looked down and saw that it was Bella's hand. Alice smiled, "Can you open your eyes?" Bella's hand squeezed my arm again as her eyes fluttered open.

Emmet rushed to her side as well as Esme and Carlisle, who smiled tenderly at Bella. She looked very confused. "I think we should back up a little, she looks a little overwhelmed..." The others backed away a couple of steps and sat down in different areas to give her a bit of breathing room. I went to stand up, but Bella pulled on me and looked up with crimson red eyes. She looked so lost, "It's ok Bella, we're all here to help you." She slowly sat, up not removing her hand from my arm and looked slowly around the room. She looked into everyones face and then looked back to me. I could feel her confusion, "What's the matter Bella?" She looked back to me and gave me a timid smile.

"Do you know who you are?" She nodded her head.

"Do you know where you are?" Again she nodded.

"Do you know who we are?" She rolled her eyes and nodded her head again.

"Do you know what you have become?" She looked at me with curious eyes, and slowly lowered her eyes to the hand not on my arm, which she raised to her cheek and gasped. Then she looked at me with shocked eyes, and nodded again. _"Vampire..."_ She whispered it so low I almost couldn't hear her. I nodded my head, and gave her a timid smile, hoping to reassure her, gently patting the hand that was resting on my arm.

She looked at my hand patting hers and I could suddenly feel her leaned forward to look closer at my injured hands, and when she looked at me I just shrugged.

Then it all happened so quickly: Alice gasped, I could tell she was seeing something; I made to move to her but Bella grabbed my injured hand too tightly and I hissed in pain. Alice's eyes were coming back into focus. Carlisle moved Esme behind him and Rose appeared at the top of the stairs. Emmet backed to the stairs to protect Rose. Everyone moved too quickly and spooked her. Then she said the one name no one was ready to voice aloud, _"Edward..."_

We all looked between each other, and I could feel the heavy weight of sadness, confusion, frusteration and apprehension. What would we tell her?

I shook my head, I didn't know what to tell her. I looked to my Alice, pleading, "Tell her Jazz. She deserves to know." Everyone's eyes suddenly found the floor very interesting. I turned to Bella and took both of her small hands in mine, "Bella, Edward was lost in the battle with Victoria. There was nothing we could do, I'm so sorry."

Bella looked confused for a second. She looked around at the family, and finally down at my hands. She gasped, "Lost? GONE? WHERE?" I cringed as each of her words got louder. Her grip was becoming painful. She started breathing heavily, her chest was heaving, and she shook her head as she crumpled to lay back on the couch. I shot a warning glance at everyone to stay back. Bella started mumbling to herself so low and fast I couldn't understand what she was saying.

"Bella, we're all family. We'll help you. We love you Bella, and we'll all take good care of you. I promise..." I could feel her rage build into a furious thunder head, sparking and rumbling "No, you can't! You should hate me. HE'S GONE! And it's my fault! You saved me? WHY? Why didn't you just let me die? I WANT TO DIE!" I tried to calm her, but it was becoming quickly obvious that there would be no calming her. **"****no.. ****no.. ****no.. ****no.. ****NO!"**

Suddenly I felt the flames of Edwards death consuming me**. **The change should be easier to go through than this! I could hear glass shattering all over the house, and the floor rumbling under us as Bella screamed. "Bella... please stop... you've got to stop... you're hurting us!" As suddenly as the pain began, it stopped. I lay panting on the floor, trying to catch my unnecessary breath. I slowly sat up to see the back window wall shattered, glass covering the floor like a shiny carpet. Bella was sitting in the corner of the room as far from us as she could get with her face in her hands.

She kept saying sorry over and over again. I looked to Alice, she was able to calm her the last time. Alice took a couple of hesitant steps toward Bella, looking as undangerous as possible. "It's going to be ok Bella. You just need to calm down, you're only hours old. We understand. We all went through it, too. Please don't be scared..."

Bella's head jerked up at vampire speed, shocking us all . She was crying, tears soaking her shirt as they streamed down her tortured face. "I'm so sorry." Then, as if she were the wind, she blew out the back door and was gone.

real life sucks huge right now! my husband lost his job, and im not working and no one is hiring! its too gay! and so i have limited access to the internet to update. so tell your friends and read and review my story, i do so hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it. thank you all!


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